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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25809238">Schrodinger's Past</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chiroptach/pseuds/Chiroptach'>Chiroptach</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Minor Character Death, Possessive Behavior, Suicidal Thoughts, Sweet, horrible people in love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:27:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,836</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25809238</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chiroptach/pseuds/Chiroptach</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The past is dead and alive until you acknowledge it. Roman and Victor have sorted pasts in dramatically different ways, and issues they've refused to deal with. Can their relationship survive when one of these issues come between them? </p>
<p>A mix of cannons, leaning heavily on BOP, but adding in some comics cannon. My take on gay-homophobe Roman and a little bit of a getting together story.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Roman Sionis/Victor Zsasz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>45</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Schrodinger's Past</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Both of them got some attention whenever they would go through the club. Victor made a firm attempt not to be so noticed, to fade in to the background as he shadowed Roman around the club. However, a man with bleach blond hair covered in tally marks in a club where there was rumored to be a serial killer with bleach blond hair covered in tally marks was less than inconspicuous, oddly enough. Especially since people seemed to have made a game of spotting him. That started with the rumors that Victor only ever showed up when something serious was happening. In truth he always followed Roman. He was a bodyguard of sorts, after all. But people, mostly drunk people, still hadn’t seemed to notice that, and thus the “spot Zsasz” game continued. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Roman’s attention was more deserved. For one, Roman was the owner of the club, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>Black Mask. Plus he was handsome. And loud. Roman, however, basked in the attention. He loved having eyes on him, seeing people’s reactions to his club. Victor followed him around, watching. He watched Roman mingle with the crowd, watched him smiling and waving to them like a celebrity. He supposed that bit was ingrained in him, from his years as a celebrity child. Roman did love the attention. A jealous bit of anger floated around with him, shadowing him as he shadowed Roman. He wanted Roman all to himself, most of the time. But then again he wasn’t sure if all of his attention, constantly, could sate Roman. He supposed the crowd had their purpose. They were nameless strangers, who gave Roman just enough attention to keep him happy. And that was what was important. Victor could handle a little jealousy. Roman needed the attention. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then he saw some girl hanging off of him. For the third time that week. Roman hadn’t let him kill any of them, and this one was probably going to be much the same. Victor didn’t know what the deal was with women who could just barely get in the club, or why they liked Roman so much, but they would </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>stop touching him. Victor could guess. They were drunk for the first time, clinging to the first man they saw with money. He just wished the first man they saw would stop being </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>man. But that was another problem. Nobody knew Roman was taken. Well, the people who worked for Roman knew, not purposefully, but being anywhere close to the two of them when they were out of the view of the public made it obvious. Victor wished he could make it obvious to everybody, maybe so obvious these drunk chicks would fuck off. They didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>care </span>
  </em>
  <span>about him, they just wanted his money or were too drunk to even think about that and just saw a handsome man. He couldn’t blame them for being attracted to Roman, if he killed everyone he knew was attracted to Roman he wouldn’t have any skin left for all the tallies. He decided it had been too long and the girl was now enough of a threat to chase off. Victor inserted himself between the two, pushing the girl off Roman. She went off to talk to her friends, apparently unbothered. Victor wanted to walk over there and stab her in front of her friends, then kill them too. He wasn’t certain why at first, then sighed heavily as Roman flitted off without even a thank you, reminding him that the closest he ever got to his </span>
  <em>
    <span>lover </span>
  </em>
  <span>on the dance floor was pushing random bitches off him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At least it was just women. Well, that sort of made it better. Victor knew Roman would make damn sure he knew if he intended to sleep with someone else, as it would make Victor deathly jealous. Roman loved doing that. He seemed to love toying with Victor in any way he could. Sometimes it was fun. Sometimes it was getting groped during a meeting, Roman continuously playing with him, hands in very unprofessional places till the goddamn meeting was finally over and Victor got a chance to pin Roman to the wall and give back all he’d been given. And maybe a little more. Sometimes, though, it was this. It was teasing and letting random women lay all over him, while Victor knew he couldn’t so much as hold Roman’s hand in public. That was the down side of knowing it was just women. Roman wouldn’t let some random man do the same, even the most unimposing young man. The problem was now not just Roman being finicky or teasing too much. It was some matter of reputation.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It hurt much more when he came to notice how obviously more affectionate Roman was when no one was around. They laid side by side on the couch, Roman’s arm around him, leaning against him. But the moment some goon came in to the room the ‘professional’ distance was back. Victor waited till Roman snuggled back against him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Boss, can I ask somethin’?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure,” Roman said, eyes half closed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you so fuckin’ scared to let people know about this?” Victor asked. He hadn’t intended to say it that aggressively, and it was most definitely going to piss Roman right off. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Know about what? People don’t need to know we’re fucking,” Roman snapped, sitting up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah how much we do or do not fuck isn’t what I’m talkin’ about. I’m talkin’ about why you won’t admit to </span>
  <em>
    <span>anybody </span>
  </em>
  <span>that we’re doing more than fuckin’ here.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You won’t even let anybody know you like men,” Victor sighed. “You don’t even let those lil’ college guys hang on you the way you let the women- you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>hiding!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Victor I have a reputation to maintain!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Roman, nobody gives a fuck! Nobody is gonna be less scared of you ‘cause you fuck men- people aren’t scared of you ‘cause they think you’re straight, they’re scared of you ‘cause you peel people’s fuckin’ faces off! I don’t think the guy who’s dead mom we deliver him in a trash bag is gonna give a shit if you’re in to men! That’s not the scary part!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Victor, I don’t think-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And if anybody gives you shit about it we kill ‘em. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Together. </span>
  </em>
  <span>All romantic like.” Victor wrangled him around so he could rub Roman’s shoulders while they fought. It really just saved Victor from having to calm him down more later. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Victor I don’t think they’re going to fear me less-” There was a pause. Oh </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Was that a sniffle? “Victor I can’t be fuckin’ gay-” Victor’s anger snapped right in two, and he pulled Roman close. Things that would piss him off were obvious, and Victor knew them forwards and backwards. Things that he was actually, genuinely sensitive about were so random and loosely threaded that they almost always got Victor off guard. Well, they usually did have a common thread, but Roman took more time hiding those threads than he did hiding actual human bodies. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why not?” Victor asked. Delicately dealing with this kind of emotion was not his specialty. He felt a definitive pain in his chest. Whenever Roman hurt he felt it too. It was unfamiliar, but Roman made him feel a lot of things he hadn’t before. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I…” He steadied himself. “You know what that- that </span>
  <em>
    <span>Harley </span>
  </em>
  <span>bitch said about… About my father?” Oh shit. Oh </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck. </span>
  </em>
  <span>His family was the source of Roman’s worst issues, the things that brought him down the fastest and hardest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t like to listen to what bitches say about you,” Victor said, pulling Roman closer, till he was laying back against Victor’s chest. Victor did in fact pay incredible attention to every word a bitch said about Roman. Harley liked to use real big words to talk shit because she had a PHD and seemed to think it made her better than them. Victor didn’t get what half she said meant and didn’t care to give it a Google, but when she used plain words Victor found her ability to jab her fingers in to sensitive issues irritating. She and her, to use Roman’s word, </span>
  <em>
    <span>trashy </span>
  </em>
  <span>boyfriend had come to Roman’s club, and upon Roman trying to very politely and non-violently throw them out she had brought that shit up. She was really good at bringing the wrong shit up, even when she wasn’t there. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That I wanted his approval, still.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Roman, he’s dead. He can’t tell you what to do,” Victor pleaded. “He’s gone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When I was… what, ten? He gave me a list of acceptable and unacceptable ‘teenage phases’. One of the unacceptable ones was ‘being a faggot’,” Roman said. “Victor, I didn’t even know what a faggot was.” Victor couldn’t understand how it was fair that his parents, who’d been so loving, had been suddenly and crudely ripped from the world, when Roman’s would have just kept living if Roman hadn’t taken it in to his own hands. “I spent so much time trying to wear the stupid fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>mask </span>
  </em>
  <span>they shoved on me.” There was a pause. “Did I ever tell you about Circe?” There was a pause.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” Victor felt his heart pounding in his chest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I tried as hard as I possibly could to find a woman who I loved, to get that stupid </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking </span>
  </em>
  <span>approval. Circe was… as close as I think I’ve ever gotten… She had this way about her this… glamour. She was so beautiful, Victor… Such a… Such a way…” Victor had half a mind to hunt this Circe down and kill her, make sure he had no competition but… She had to have gone somewhere. “Then I killed my parents and I took their business… I intended to just settle down and marry her, and that would be that and I would never think of it again but… I fucked up, I fucked up </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything </span>
  </em>
  <span>with the business and then…” He paused. “Circe left me. When I needed someone most she just… left me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We could go kill her,” Victor offered, more for his own peace of mind than Roman’s.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I already disfigured her,” Roman sighed. “Mask full of toxic makeup… I don’t think she’ll be much of a problem…” Victor determined that would be enough, in this case. “You know that singer?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Birdy?” asked Victor. Yes of course he knew her, he knew anybody allowed to be remotely close to Roman more than once. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She reminds me of Circe,” Roman said. “In all those… </span>
  <em>
    <span>ways.. </span>
  </em>
  <span>That’s why I’m not ever letting her </span>
  <em>
    <span>leave </span>
  </em>
  <span>me. She’s not gonna fuckin’ leave me. I won’t fuckin’ let her,” he snapped. If he could get away with it he would have killed Dinah in the parking lot that very night. Unfortunately it seemed like she would be around for a long time. Roman was very partial to his little bird. Victor wished Roman gave him all that attention. It was different attention but he praised everything Dinah did and paraded her around like a new artifact or painting. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I won’t leave you,” said Victor softly. “Ever.” He wrapped his arms around Roman tightly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want </span>
  </em>
  <span>to let my stupid fucking father fucking control me,” Roman hissed. “But I can’t stop thinking nobody’s going to respect me- that they’re just gonna think I’m a stupid queer.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Roman, Ivy’s the biggest, most obvious lesbian in the whole world and everybody’s scared shitless of her. Plus, the Joker’s only ever expressed sexual attraction to two things- Batman and the crowbar he killed that one Robin with.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can say that now and I know you’re right, and I can pause and think about it and know that nobody will but when I’m worried I just can’t stop fucking worrying.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll be right there with you,” Victor promised. “Always.” He was still tense. “Plus, you don’t have to just instantly be alright with being affectionate or comfortable with… this shit. I’ll wait for you. You’re worth waiting for.” Roman relaxed against his chest, and pulled an arm free to hold Victor’s hand. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Roman acted the same way he always did that evening, but Victor could tell his mood was off. It had been two days since they had argued- well </span>
  <em>
    <span>talked </span>
  </em>
  <span>really. It was almost sweet to think he and Roman could just have talks like an average couple. It was charming to Victor that they could have those little talks and then murder someone together the next day. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That </span>
  </em>
  <span>was what Victor wanted, not normal. But he did like Roman’s normal mood more than whatever was happening that evening. He took joy in the fact that Roman told him to track down and kill one of the chicks who in their normal drunk chick wisdom clung to Roman. Victor shadowed him a little closer. Surprisingly, Roman didn’t snap till after the club finally closed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dinah, do you know who owns this club?” he asked, voice tight. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh, you?” she said, trying to make her way to the door, almost desperately. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. Me. So why do I feel like I can’t do what I want in </span>
  <em>
    <span>my own fucking club!?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” he snapped. Victor and Dinah locked eyes, and Victor moved quickly between her and Roman. Roman had turned to terrorize a bartender instead. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Get out of here,” Victor said to Dinah. She did without hesitation. If she actually cared about Roman like Victor did she wouldn’t run off. Victor was glad to have a little more proof that she didn’t, but also knew it would probably send Roman further into whatever this was, feeling abandoned. Victor caught up to Roman as he finished snapping at the staff, then telling them to get the fuck out. Victor walked towards him as Roman started shoving chairs down. He caught Roman’s shoulders. He turned, furious, and Victor caught his hands. Roman tried to twist out of his grasp, to throw more chairs. Victor made sure they were alone with a glance, pushed Roman’s wrists to his chest, and pinned them to him with a hug. Roman twisted in his grasp for a moment, but Victor was fairly confident he was stronger. Roman gradually stopped and started to move closer to Victor, till finally his head came to rest on Victor’s shoulder. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s alright,” Victor said, holding him tight. He had a gut feeling he knew what it was about. Roman pulled away from him a little. “Can I kiss you?” Victor asked. Roman was finicky, and it had a chance of pissing him off. Roman nodded, almost weakly. How swiftly and easily Roman volleyed between being dependent and soft and diabetes sweet to being violent and confident and acting like it was his world and everyone was lucky to live in it was jarring. But he wouldn’t expect any less. Victor moved back a little, giving him a small amount of space, then kissing Roman softly. It was brief, but it seemed to comfort him. Victor was facing the door, and Roman the bar, so fortunately Roman didn’t see Dinah dart in to grab her purse, mouth ‘good luck’ to Victor, and run back out. Roman would hate to know that Dinah had seen this, but Victor saw it as proof. She clearly didn’t have any reaction that was abnormal. Maybe she already guessed they were together. Victor hoped so. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just want to be able to hold your hand in my own </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking </span>
  </em>
  <span>club and not…” Roman’s voice trailed off. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe you should slow down,” said Victor. “I’d love to be all over you all the time but it’s not exactly professional. Maybe you should try it in front of people you own or when the club’s shut down.. Work your way up, so you won’t be so worried.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Roman said. “Come here,” Roman said. He put a hand on Victor’s hip and grabbed one of Victor’s hands with his other, pulling him around. At first Victor was just down right confused, till he realized he recognized the configuration. Dancing. Roman was dancing with him. Victor put his head on Roman’s chest, and started to move with him. It was borderline blissful. He could hear Roman’s heart beating. Victor knew that sound. Roman had a little heart murmur. His heartbeat was usually quick, as he was always angry or worried about something. He put his face in the crook of Roman’s neck and kissed his jugular. Victor liked heartbeats, in a way. He liked to kill with a knife and quite often got to feel the hearts of the people he freed as they were going. Roman’s heartbeat was always similar to someone who was about to be killed, fearful and panicked. “You gonna bite through my neck with those little metal teeth of yours?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s much harder to cut a throat than most think,” Victor said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know, Victor. I’ve cut my fair share of throats too,” the anger rising in Roman’s voice melted. “I think you could do it though.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bite through your throat?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Somebody else’s throat,” Roman corrected.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I bite your throat a little though?” Victor smirked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you leave a mark on me where someone can see it I swear-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You look so good in turtlenecks though,” Victor said. “I just wanna see you wear them again.” He grinned and licked Roman’s neck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ew! </span>
  <em>
    <span>Victor!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Normally when he went ‘Ew’ Roman forced whatever was declared ‘Ew’ away from him as quickly as possible. He didn’t push Victor away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ew? My tongue has been in your mouth before Roman-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve been smoking again and you didn’t brush your teeth and-” Victor kissed Roman’s neck where he had licked him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There, kissed it better.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Victor, you are so vexing sometimes,” Roman sighed. “Ah! Your whiskers-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wh-” Victor grinned. He pressed his stubbly chin into Roman’s neck. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re just prickling me-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know, I know…” There was a pause. “Can I kill Birdy?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” Roman said. “Why do you want to-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want everybody to know you’re mine. And I’m yours.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you jealous of my little Bird?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Because she’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>your </span>
  </em>
  <span>little Bird instead of just Dinah from work.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can’t kill her,” Roman insisted. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Roman plea-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Roman snapped. He paused. “You can go pick up some girl who looks like her and kill her though, that’s fine.” Victor wasn’t at all satisfied with that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Would… Would you watch me do it?” Victor asked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You get the girl and bring her here and I’ll watch you, ‘kay?” Victor felt excitement instantly, and gave Roman a peck on the lips before heading for the door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll be right back, promise!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He thought about Dinah the whole time, but kept looking back at Roman, for approval. Roman looked almost bored, positioned in the plush chair he had moved downstairs for torture events. He held a drink in his hand, legs crossed, watching like he had been dragged to a children’s choir concert- all irritated face and abject boredom. Victor had purposefully and slowly removed each joint in this woman’s fingers and Roman was </span>
  <em>
    <span>bored. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She was crying and trying to beg against the gag in her mouth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Want her face?” Victor asked. Roman paused. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah. Just kill her and throw her out, ‘kay?” Roman got up and headed upstairs. Victor sat there in shock. He cut the gag out of the woman’s mouth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please I won’t ever tell anybody I promise- </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>-” she started to beg. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You got a partner?” asked Victor. She paused, sobbing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y-yes?” she offered. When Victor didn’t kill her she added, “A girlfriend-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did either of you ever have an issue with feeling like… you’re not supposed to be gay?” Victor asked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I uh- I had a problem like that,” she said, sobs slowing as shock set in and she became desperate to do or say whatever Victor wanted her to in order for him to not kill her. He was going to kill her anyway, but for now he wanted information. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How did you fix it?” asked Victor. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I uh- I don’t know how to fix it per say but uh- it just took time-” Victor didn’t much like that answer and slit her throat, quickly. He sighed and decided it was time to clean up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Choosing between trying to confront Roman or distract him from the issue was always hard. He picked the latter, deciding it wasn’t worth confronting Roman over. He walked up to Roman’s room. He had already put on his pajamas. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Boss,” Victor greeted. “Wanna see my new tally?” He grinned, forcing it a little. Roman barely looked at him. Victor walked over and sat next to him. “What’s wrong?” He put a hand over Roman’s back. Roman took a breath, then looked over at Victor. He pulled him closer and kissed his cheek, softly. He pulled back, and then moved closer to Victor again, giving him little kisses. Victor wasn’t sure he could return them, and just sat there and let Roman kiss him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m gonna get in the car, and I’m gonna buy a hooker. Stay here,” Roman said. Victor snapped as Roman tried to get up, grabbing him and shoving him back to the bed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No you’re fucking not,” Victor grabbed him by the shoulders and pressed Roman down. Roman was in shock for a moment and then-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Get out of my fucking way Victor-” snarled Roman. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not fucking sharing you with some whore-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>know </span>
  </em>
  <span>I like women- In the very fucking least men and women- I’m not-” Victor couldn’t stand to listen to him talking about women again and pinned Roman to the matress and kissed him. There was a pause, Roman letting him stiffly for a moment, then relaxing and grabbing his hips. There was a pause as they just kissed. He rolled off Roman and laid next to him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t care if you’re gay or bi or whatever- I just want to be with you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ll stay?” Roman asked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Always-” Victor said, kissing Roman again, putting his hands on the side of his face and pulling him closer.  “I love you- I love you so much.” Roman kissed him back, wrapping his arms around him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please stay with me Victor- </span>
  <em>
    <span>please,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Roman begged. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Always- I can do anything, I’ll kill for you, anything for you-” Roman kissed him and then pushed him back a little. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Show me your new scar,” Roman said. Victor grinned, and sat up a little, unbuttoning his shirt and throwing it to the side. It was low on his stomach, half hidden by his pants. “All of it.” Victor grinned. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you sure?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes- all of it,” Roman said, moving a hand down Victor’s chest, till he ran his thumb along the scar. “My handsome killer.” Victor tried really hard not to do what Roman said instantly, but hearing Roman claim him as </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>handsome killer- “My work of art,” Roman added, eyes focused on Victor’s scars. Victor moved his hands to Roman’s shirt, kissing his cheek. “All mine, right?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“All yours,” Victor promised. He wanted to move things along, but Roman was closing his eyes, seeming to get tired. Emotional outbursts often did make him tired. Victor kissed his forehead. “You’re mine?” he asked Roman. Roman held him close. Roman was falling asleep quickly. “All mine?” he insisted, the idea of Roman getting a prostitute still fresh in his mind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“All yours,” Roman said softly as he fell asleep. Victor sighed. If Roman hadn’t fallen asleep he’d have shown him his new scar. But fine. Roman would see it soon enough. He moved his hand up to Roman’s hair and petted it, running his hands through it. At least here he could cuddle Roman. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something was up. It had been two days since he had killed the girl who looked like Birdy- and he had shown Roman his new scar- but Roman was up to something. He had sent Victor to the club floor, promising to join him soon. Three hours ago. Victor was nervously pacing around the room as Dinah continued to sing, wanting to kill off the drunk college girls who would inevitably hang off of him.  Then came Roman. He descended the stairs dramatically, radiating an aura of confidence in a custom rainbow suit. Victor didn’t technically know it was custom, but he knew Roman. Every damn thing on that suit was rainbows and glitter and sparkles. Roman went to Victor’s side and kissed him quickly and suddenly on the lips. In the club. Roman was in a good mood then. Roman grasped his hand and pulled him around the club. Dinah looked relieved oddly enough.Victor puffed his chest out and let Roman guide him around. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s with the uh.. New look Mr. Sionis?” asked a patron, knowing he wanted attention in some way shape or form. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m Roman fucking Sionis and I’m fucking gay!” he yelled, not angrily, but it shocked Victor more than anger. He was… some type of proud, it seemed. “This is Victor and he’s mine!” He held up Victor’s hand. Victor beamed as everyone turned to look, for at least a moment. He locked eyes with Dinah. Dinah cringed a bit, and at first Victor felt a murderous desire to rip her apart for cringing at them, to tell Roman that she was cringing at them. Then he realized it was second hand embarrassment of some type. Victor realized then that was the point somebody else would have been embarrassed. He wasn’t that dumb, he was proud. He was Roman’s and everybody knew it now. The whole night when on like that, and if anybody asked what the deal was Roman would announce it again. He sat down with some guests and pulled Victor right into his lap. Victor didn’t like being the center of attention, but this was heavenly. He could feed off of Roman’s attention forever. He didn’t actually care about the rest of the club, but having Roman’s attention and letting them know that Roman was taken and they had to keep their sticky paws off of him was absolutely ideal. Roman peppered him with kisses and gentle touches the whole night. It was almost enough for him not to notice the shady lady with the black bob watching them. The odd thing about it was she seemed less interested in Roman and more interested in Victor. He didn’t like that. Not even a little bit. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Victor, I’m gonna fucking die,” Roman hissed. He was still in bed, Victor bringing him breakfast. He was covered in a thin layer of glitter, left over from his custom suit, and eyeliner was smudged across his pillow. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How come?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just got drunk and fucking ran around in a fucking rainbow zoot suit and told everybody who would fucking listen that I’m a stupid faggot you were fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>there! Victor!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Roman snapped, distress obvious in his voice as he threw a pillow at Victor as hard as he could. Victor easily sidestepped it, which only pissed Roman off more, which caused him to pick up a lamp. Victor put breakfast on the floor and caught the lamp, putting it beside breakfast before picking up the pillow and throwing it back, hitting Roman. “Victor I will </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking kill you-” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Victor moved rapidly to Roman’s side, grasped his hands, and pinned them above his head. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No you won’t,” Victor said, crawling quickly into his lap. “You and your empty threats and your glitter and throwing things you’re so-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Victor I am dead fucking serious-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just wanna fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>kill </span>
  </em>
  <span>you,” Victor said, maneuvering Roman’s wrists so he could hold both with one hand, and pulling a knife from his belt. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Zsasz stop this fucking shit right fucking now or I’ll fucking-” Victor kissed him and pressed a knife to his throat, making Roman quite for at least a little bit. He pulled back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re so stressed all the time and you’re so sad all the time and I just wanna…” His words dipped off as he pressed the knife softly against Roman’s chest. “Set you free…” Most people who had been in a position similar to Roman’s looked up at him with terror. Roman showed no obvious emotion. Roman was planning. “What are you thinkin about, baby?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who would be my second best bodyguard choice after I </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking kill you!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Roman snapped.  Victor cuddled to his neck, and chuckled. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who else is gonna suck your dick in front of people you cut the faces off of while they die?” Victor asked smugly. Roman paused and contemplated again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What did you bring me for breakfast?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your little fancy breakfast bread things. With the strawberries that you like.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You get to live,” Roman decided. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Victor laid against Roman as he ate, still in bed. He had to fetch some pain medication and a strong drink for Roman as well, but after that he got to cuddle. Well that and some convincing and promises of blowjobs and alcohol and kisses. He gave the kisses over quickly. The rest would be for when Roman didn’t have a tray in his lap. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I have a strawberry?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You fucking hit me with a pillow and stab me in the nipple and threaten my life and now you want a strawberry?” Roman hissed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes.” Roman relented and gave Victor the smallest strawberry. Victor grinned and took it regardless, making a kissy face at Roman. Roman grumbled and kissed his forehead. There was a pause. “I think you looked good in your rainbow pimp suit.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just wish I hadn’t told everybody so loudly,” Roman sighed. “I wish I could just not make a big fucking deal out of everything and turn everything into a loud fucking shitshow-” Victor put a strawberry in his mouth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You didn’t do anything wrong. I know your stupid fuckwit of a father would hate what you did but it’s… very you. Very Roman.” Roman angrily ate the strawberry. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you did any of this shit in front of someone-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I would never do that to you.” Roman sighed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess it was… very </span>
  <em>
    <span>me.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sometimes I really don’t like myself.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t like drunk Roman very much for sure,” Victor said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wish there was a way I could make a huge shitshow of a message and wear shit like the rainbow pimp suit and kiss and hold you like I want to but no one would pay attention to me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Roman, have you ever been to a pride parade?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe it was a particularly bad idea to try to convince Roman to go to a pride event while he was still panicking and calling himself slurs. Fortunately, Victor was right about how little people noticed the glitter suit. Roman’s was the most expensive and the best tailored, and a thousand other little things Victor reminded him to keep him from worrying about wearing the same thing as everybody else. Victor wore the exact same bowling shirt he always did. He let Roman put some eyeliner and glitter on him, and he was touching the man who was wearing the best glitter suit constantly, so he was pretty sure it was obvious as to why he was there too. He looked behind him, and saw the girl who had been watching him in the club. She was still glaring at him, following them around. He clenched down on Roman’s hand for most of the event, but he must have clenched harder. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s wrong Victor?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nothing,” Victor said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure, what the fuck is it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s some bitch following us,” Victor said. “She glared at me when I was in your lap in the club. She’s the one with the black bob cut, and the sharp eyeliner. Big arms.” He knew if he told Roman to look at her without being obvious, he would look at her obvious but also snap at Victor for telling him something so stupid, so he just let Roman obviously glare at her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She’s here with Birdy it seems,” Roman said. It was Victor’s turn to whip around and stare at them. She was indeed there with Birdy. “This is perfect!” Roman said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Birdy’s got a little girlfriend, I’m with you, that’s all wrapped up,” Roman determined, turning back to look at whatever sparkly thing had caught his attention.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s all wrapped up?” Victor demanded. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your little </span>
  <em>
    <span>thing </span>
  </em>
  <span>with Birdy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>My </span>
  </em>
  <span>thing? I would never have a thing-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your jealous murder thing. It was getting old, Victor.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, that’s not a thing, but I am still a little bit..”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jealous?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A tiny bit,” Victor said. “It doesn’t matter.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Roman had decided it did matter. Roman decided to handle that in the most Roman way possible. Victor really should have seen this coming. Things were better. Roman had taken to calling himself gay or bi or queer in a proud way instead of calling himself a faggot. He stood close to Victor, and everyone seemed to know that they were together regardless of how much they did or did not touch in public. Everything was fantastic. Then Roman decided it was a great idea to bring his ‘staff’ closer together by arranging a double date. With Birdy and the bob cut girlfriend. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Roman seemed to be the only person who thought this would at all be a good idea. Birdy and bob cut both seemed really unhappy, Birdy trying to hold it together and bob cut not seeming to care if Roman knew she was pissed. She also kept glaring at Victor. Victor was good at maintaining his neutral expression at this point. They were all at a restaurant. Roman intended to pay for everyone, reputation and all. Victor wore the turtleneck to this. Less obvious scars was better. Also it was one of the most ‘fancy’ clothing articles he had. Well that he picked himself instead of Roman buying it for him. Roman really liked to buy him clothes. Roman wore one of his many suits. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Birdy and bob cut had nice outfits too, he guessed. Birdy had a dress, similar to what she wore in the club. Bob cut had a tux. It made it more obvious that her arms were very strong. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Roman,” he introduced himself. He knew in an instant something was off with Victor. “And this is Victor.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Helena,” bob cut said. “Helena Bertinelli.” Well </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>would fucking do it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bertinelli massacre Bertinelli?” Victor asked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Victor that’s not polite.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You should know,” Helena snapped. The pause that followed was more than uncomfortable. They all got ushered to the table. Dinah and Roman quickly separated the two. Dinah went into the booth as quick as possible and Roman corralled Victor into the booth, so he was across from Dinah and Roman was across from Helena. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why should I know?” Victor asked. He wanted to be across from Helena, protect Roman from her, not let her be anywhere near him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You were there,” Helena said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you want the soup or the salad?” Dinah asked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t even remember it,” Victor said. “Wasn’t that fun.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re Victor Zsasz. You killed my family,” Helena said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The waiter’s coming around, at least look at the menu,” Roman said casually. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Helena, do you need to go?” asked Dinah. “I’ll go with you, it’s no big deal-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You were the mastermind, weren’t you?” Helena said, slapping Roman’s menu down. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If I were the mastermind you wouldn’t fucking be alive,” Roman snapped. “If I planned the sloppy, stupid little Bertinelli massacre I would have fucking done it right-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s go,” Dinah said, standing. She was stuck between Helena and the outside of the booth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No. I’m right where I need to be,” said Helena. Each second lasted a minute, or at least it felt like it did.  She pulled a gun. Victor picked up the steak knife.  Aimed at Roman. Roman put the menu back up, like a shield. She fired. Victor reached towards her. The bullet went through the menu. Victor aimed for her hand. The bullet hit Roman. Victor processed that the trigger had been pulled and that it was a gun- he expected a crossbow but she couldn’t fit it in her tux. He plunged the knife into her hand. It didn’t go through. She fired a second time, at Roman. Victor stood. The second bullet hit. Roman slumped under the table. Victor stabbed through her hand this time. She turned the gun on Victor. Her adrenaline must have kept her from feeling that knife. She fired the gun. Birdy stood up. She spoke. Victor felt the bullet in his shoulder. He pulled his gun. Helena was distracted. Victor aimed the gun. He pulled the trigger. Birdy screamed. He was several feet away, laying on the floor of the restaurant. The gun was not in his hand. Lots of people were screaming. He looked around until he saw Roman. He was flat on his back. Blood was pooling under him. Victor pulled himself over to Roman and wrapped an arm around him. He sat up as well as he could. Something else was wrong with him, he knew it. Roman’s eyes were partially open. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Victor-” he said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I tried to kill her,” Victor told him, holding on to him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Victor, I don’t wanna die,” Roman coughed. Victor looked for the bullet holes. It was a mostly white suit. Both in the chest. Victor pushed a hand up his shirt and felt Roman’s side. He counted the number of ribs down the entry wound was. It was probably in a lung. The other was lower, looked like it probably hit a rib and didn’t get so deep. He could feel Roman’s heart beating in his chest. It was so much more frantic than it normally was. He couldn’t tell Roman’s heart murmur from his heart throbbing and shallow breaths. Victor realized right then that he wanted Roman to live. Roman’s eyes were closing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Roman, open your eyes,” Victor said. “Open your eyes.” He did a little. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t wanna die,” Roman repeated. “I was just figuring this all out, I don’t want to die now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The ambulance is coming,” Victor said. “Just hold on Roman. We’re gonna live and we’re gonna figure this all out.” Victor hadn’t cared so much if someone lived or died in years- decades even. He didn’t even care that much about himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t hear them.” Victor couldn’t either.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Listen closely,” Victor said. “It’s gonna be okay.” Then he actually heard sirens. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Victor, I love you,” Roman said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you,” Roman spoke louder. “I want you to know that if I die, I really, really loved you. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you too, but you’re not going to die.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m tired and I can’t feel anything right now, and I.. I think I’m… Victor I fuckin’ love you. I.. I really love you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you gonna do when you make it out of this?” Victor said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When you live, what are you gonna do with all that love?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If I live I’m gonna love you as much as I always should have for however long I’ve got left… I’m gonna let you know I love you… If I fuckin’ live I don’t care about who knows or… If I survive I’m gonna start actually fuckin’ </span>
  <em>
    <span>living, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Victor.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s gonna be great,” Victor said. “It’s gonna be great.” Roman kissed Victor’s cheek. The ambulance arrived. And the police. They were separated. Everything from there was a blur. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Victor was handcuffed to a hospital bed and he had no fucking idea where he was or how long it had been. A nurse or maybe an orderly or doctor came in and gave him a mental health screener. He recognized that one pretty quick. It wasn’t the basic jail screener. This was a mental health facility. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you for cooperating Victor,” said the nurse. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait- I have a question.” He had a lot of fucking questions, but only one mattered. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How is Roman?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not sure I… I don’t know, I’ll ask for you.” She wasn’t allowed to tell him. He was in an asylum, who knew for how long, and they couldn’t tell him what happened to Roman. Considering that Roman could be dead hurt him to the point that he couldn’t think about it and process his situation. So he had to stop himself from thinking about it at all. He couldn’t become stagnant. He had to figure it out. He could get the other pieces at least. Eventually, another person joined him, along with the nurse. Some new lady. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello, I’m Dr. Leland,” said the new lady. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What happened to Roman?” asked Victor, forcefully. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We can’t talk about that yet, Victor. We need to make sure you’re alright first.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s my-” Victor thought lover first, but he needed as much sympathy as possible. “He’s my boyfriend. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Please.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He got shot in front of me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“After we get done checking up on you, I can tell you about Roman,” said Dr. Leland. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright, just ask me your fuckin’ screening questions,” Victor snapped. Dr Leland didn’t seem to appreciate that, but accepted it and asked the questions. Victor answered, trying to get through them as quickly as possible. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright,” murmured Dr. Leland. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I answered, what happened to Roman?” Victor demanded. Dr. Leland paused, thinking about something. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s alive. He’s currently in the hospital,” Dr. Leland said. “He’s not stable enough to be moved.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Where am I?” Victor asked. He couldn’t get up. He was strapped to the hospital bed. White clothes. In depth screeners. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re in the Arkham Mental Health Facility,” Dr. Leland said, moving back slightly. He had killed staff in Arkham before. She likely knew that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Arkham Asylum,” Victor murmured. “How long have I been here?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s been about a day,” Dr. Leland said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck sake,” Victor sighed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You were taken to the emergency room, the bullet in your shoulder was removed, and then you were brought here,” Dr. Leland said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why?” snapped Victor. “I’m an adult, I don’t want to be here-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re believed to be a threat to yourself,” said Dr. Leland. “Otherwise it would likely be prison. Some of the staff here came forward and made sure you ended up here so that you could get the help that you need.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not a threat to myself, I’m fine-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You are covered head to toe in self-inflicted injuries, Victor,” said Dr. Leland. “You kill people because you believe- and from what I know </span>
  <em>
    <span>genuinely</span>
  </em>
  <span>- believe it’s the right thing to do and that it helps them.” He </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted </span>
  </em>
  <span>to break his left wrist to get free, grab the syringe on the table just out of his reach, and then stab Dr. Leland in the eye until he killed her. The nurse was new, she would freeze up, and he’d have a chance to kill her too. Then he could escape, use the syringe to give himself two new tallies, and go find Roman. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn’t do that though. He would likely be detained, or caught, or something else would go wrong. Besides, Roman was probably still unconscious. He would wait, then. Try to convince Dr. Leland he was better, or that he should at least be put on house arrest or something. Maybe he could recover the use of his injured shoulder. Eventually the doctors left. There were questions between, but Victor hardly paid them any mind. He wished he had.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It felt like hours, and a little extra conversation to think about instead of drifting off in thought would be nice. He didn’t want to be alone with his thoughts. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The first wave of vicious thoughts were about Roman. He enjoyed thinking about Roman. He loved Roman. But did Roman really love him? Love him enough? This attack would put Roman off balance. He would feel unsafe. Of course he would- anyone would. He wasn’t safe and Victor failed to protect him. He was right there and he didn’t save Roman. Roman loved him- he probably loved him. He let Roman down. Just like everyone else had. He tried to chase away the thoughts. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Roman would feel unsafe. But Roman wouldn’t think Victor failed him. He would know Victor did everything he could. He just wasn’t as fast as a gun. Roman…. Roman would feel unsafe. And he would hide back into his masks. All of them. Maybe even the straight one. Maybe he wouldn’t want to be with Victor at all. Maybe he never did. Victor tried to get rid of that train of thought too. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He thought about snakes. He liked them. He had a snake when he was younger. When his parents were alive. He felt a bit of pain. He missed his parents. He loved them. Roman’s parents were pieces of shit. But Victor’s got killed out of the blue in a boating accident. For no damn reason. They were just taken from him. Then things got worse. At every fucking turn someone was there to spit on him, or take advantage of his gambling addiction, or talk to him like he was stupid, or fight him, or tell him he should die. He tried. Once. Maybe more. Victor didn’t like to keep track. He knew once. He remembered the one at the Gotham Bridge. When a homeless man tried to stab him because he couldn’t rob him one more damn time. Victor killed him. Tallied. Moved on. Sometimes he wanted to give himself tallies when he hadn’t even freed anyone. He just felt better after freeing someone, and tallying. It made him feel happy. He almost never felt happy. But he had found something good. He had to remind himself of that. Life was purposeless, and it was horrible a lot of the time. But at least for now he had Roman. He was happy to free people. He was happy when he was with Roman. He was happy when he thought about getting a pet snake- or a lizard, maybe? A reptile-  and living the rest of his life, however long or short, with Roman. When he let himself get ridiculously hopeful he thought about running off to some house in the city with Roman, and just living together. Not being at the club all the time, or going in to work. Drinking and doing whatever drugs they wanted when they wanted, ordering pizzas and killing the delivery driver. Holding hands and watching meaningless TV in the evenings. Sleeping side by side every night. Then waking up and doing it all over again. And again. And again. Silly little fantasies like that almost made it seem like life could have a purpose. It would be forced. Not an innate purpose. But what was really so wrong about that? His calling of freeing people was forced. No one just had a purpose. He missed Roman. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>How had this even happened? Who’s fault even was this? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mr.Uh.. Zsasz?” the nurse said, returning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How long did you just leave me alone for?” Victor asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“About… forty minutes?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit.” He started laughing a little bit, just out of nerves. This wasn’t going to be easy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Time will drag on much less when you have things to do.. You’ll be able to get up and around in a matter of days.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He had a routine now. He asked whoever would answer how Roman was. He worked on lifting things with his fucked up shoulder. Books. Chairs. Some guy calling himself ‘the Riddler’. And they called Victor crazy. The staff- especially the orderlies- didn’t appreciate it when he lifted the ‘Riddler’, so he stuck to chairs. Then he had therapy. He fed them general, useless information about when he was suicidal. They ate that up. Then group therapy. He said nothing. The Riddler usually made it all about himself anyways. Then meals. He sat next to no one and spoke to no one. Then more therapy. He was told he should talk to people. He tried to keep count of the days, but that quickly triggered a different urge to count. He wanted a tally. He wanted to free someone. Maybe the Riddler. No, the Riddler provided too much of a service. No-no, all he had to do was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>free anyone. For just a little while. It wasn’t that hard. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He had to kill someone, or he was going to actually go crazy. They weren’t going to let him out. They would never let him out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mr. Zsasz?” the nurse- what was her name? It wouldn’t matter soon, he’d take care of it- “You’re uh… You’re being released today.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You shouldn’t be, but money seems to be worth more to these damn doctors than actually helping people,” she sighed. “Roman’s here.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He sat in the car, next to Roman. He had a new driver. Victor hoped that Roman hadn’t had someone else kill Birdy. He wanted to do that. And Helena. And all their friends. Roman looked tired. His hair wasn’t perfect. He was wearing just pajamas and his gloves. Not even the pajamas with his face on them. Silky and more expensive than half the cars in Gotham- most likely- but they weren’t his favorite. Roman didn’t say anything to him. He couldn’t think of anything worth saying to Roman. They got back to the club. Everything was running perfectly. Roman headed in his side door and upstairs. Victor followed. They just stood in Roman’s room for a moment. Victor was just wearing the clothes he got from Arkham. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When did you last shower?” Roman asked, raising an eyebrow. That had not exactly been in Victor’s schedule.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I dunno.. Uh-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>know? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ew,” Roman said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was busy-” Roman walked to Victor and grabbed his hands, pulling him towards the bathroom. He just got home and Roman was going to shove him in the tub. Fair enough. That was just how Roman was. Roman opened the bathroom door. The bath had already been run. It was full of bubbles. Roman didn’t turn on the lights. There were candles around the edge of the big tub. And a plate. With strawberries. Victor tried to piece it together, but he was tired. Was he going to watch Roman take a bath? Roman shut the door behind them. Alright, this might as well happen. Roman started to shed his pajamas. The scars from the bullets were huge. Victor’s wasn’t obvious. Roman’s went about the length of his rib cage, right down his septum. He must have had his chest opened.  Roman was in only his underwear when he looked up at Victor. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not taking a bath in that,” Roman said, his nose wrinkling up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s happening?” Victor said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I set up a </span>
  <em>
    <span>very </span>
  </em>
  <span>romantic bath for us and you’re standing around and looking at it like someone you killed just got up and put their face back on- what the hell do you mean?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“For us?” Victor asked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes. As in you and I. In the bath. At the same time.” It clicked. Victor tried to get undressed as rapidly as possible, throwing his shirt off and hitting his hand on the towel rack. “Victor!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you alright?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah? It’s just a towel rack-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Which shoulder is it? I was told it’s a shoulder-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s fine.” Roman moved closer to inspect his shoulder, and that reminded Victor of the much more important matter at hand. He started trying to pick off the shitty Arkham pants and Roman sighed as aggressively as possible.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stop moving I’m looking at it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ll have plenty of time to look all over me in a minute- We can’t have the water getting cold.” Roman seemed to agree, hands moving to Victor’s underwear with one hand and cupping his face in the other, kissing him softly. So softly. Ridiculously softly. Victor wrapped his arms around Roman’s waist and pulled him close, working his thumbs into the waistband of Roman’s underwear. They both tried to work each other’s underwear down and quickly figured out they couldn’t if they didn’t stop kissing. They pulled apart, finished removing their underwear, and moved into the bath, kissing back and forth. The bath was warm. Roman was warmer. They didn’t move apart till neither of them had enough breath left to keep kissing. Roman ran out of breath first, and Victor knew it. They were inches away from each other, breathless. Roman put an arm around Victor, and then moved to grab a strawberry. He offered it to Victor. He bit the strawberry, and a little bit of juice ran down onto Roman’s thumb. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ew!” Roman dropped it, and Victor caught it. He ate all of it. “You ate the </span>
  <em>
    <span>leaves!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Roman sounded genuinely distressed. “Are they even edible?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” Victor said. “I usually eat the leaves.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Victor why do you do these things to me?” There was a pause. Roman put a hand on Victor’s face. He just kind of looked into Victor’s eyes. Roman’s eyes were blue. It was a really nice blue. Victor was not a poet. “I love you, you know that?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you too,” Victor said. Roman kissed him, on the lips and then the strawberry juice. “Are you stealing my strawberry juice?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ew, no I am not ‘stealing your strawberry juice’. Jesus, Victor…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you being all lovey-dovey and touchy?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You made me a bath and fed me strawberries- which are my favorite thing to take off your plate- and-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought I was never going to see you again.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What? I’m not going anywhere-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought I was going to die in the hospital. They said something about my heart condition- I had to have an emergency surgery of some sort-” Victor felt his heart drop into his stomach. “I had some sort of- I have long QT syndrome.. I think that’s it. I had a heart attack- I have a pacemaker-” Victor wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close, holding him close. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A pacemaker? You’re not that old-” Victor put his head against Roman’s chest. He was glad they could sit up in this huge bath. He listened to Roman’s heartbeat. It was slower. A normal level of slow. Roman’s heartbeat had always been fast. Like someone on the brink of death. Someone he was about to free. It was because he probably had been. If Victor had mentioned it-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know… I know..” Roman sighed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your heartbeat is different,” Victor said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Because of the pacemaker…” Roman spoke softly. “You loved my heartbeat… It was weird, but it was.. It was you,” Roman looked at him. “And I love you. Strawberry juice and all- </span>
  <em>
    <span>ew.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Victor laughed a little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you. Normal heartbeat and all… You had a heart attack?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was shot once in the collarbone and then the chest. It was just in my chest cavity.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It missed vital organs. Bullet wounds either kill or they don’t.” Victor was quiet and tried to process. “I… I might have died. I thought I would die… I thought that might have been the last time I ever saw you. Victor I… I might have a lot less time than I thought I did…” They just stayed close to each other. Victor wrapped an arm around Roman’s shoulders, and put a hand on the shoulder furthest from him. “I… I want to stay with you.. I want.. I.. I would have died unhappy.” Victor held him tightly. He wasn’t sure if he considered dying unhappy or living unhappy was worse. “I want to live… I want.. I’m going to live the way that I want to. I’m going to love who I want to love… And Victor, I love you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you too.. I love you so much..” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please don’t leave me,” Roman’s voice broke. “You’ve never given me a reason to believe you would but-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I won’t. I won’t ever leave you,” Victor said, kissing Roman’s cheek. Roman turned and kissed him on the lips. They laid close to each other and just kissed, and held each other until the water got cold. They dried off, and went to bed together. Victor was almost immediately asleep, but he pressed his head to Roman’s chest. He listened to his heartbeat, for anything that could be bad. The long scar on his chest was from his heart surgery then. There was a little one on his collarbone. Victor held him close and kissed him, once. Twice. Then he was asleep. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Victor woke up. Roman’s heart was still beating. He smiled, and looked up at Roman’s face. He was still sleeping. Victor got up quickly and took care of the bathroom, and piled their clothes in the basket. Then he went back and got into bed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We could have taken care of that later,” Roman said softly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re too soft now, look what they’ve done to you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Only for you.” Roman kissed his forehead, and held him close, not letting him get up for a solid two hours after that. Roman touched the scar on Victor’s shoulder. One of the few Victor hadn’t put there himself. He sighed. “I’m not a fan of this one.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me neither.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The only person other than you who gets to put scars on you is me,” Roman grumbled. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh really?” Victor grinned. Roman kept saying he </span>
  <em>
    <span>would </span>
  </em>
  <span>put a tally on Victor, and Victor was certainly interested, but he had yet to actually commit. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Actually, let’s go get rid of that little scar now,” Roman said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Get rid of it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You get your mark. I’ll put in on you. Right there,” Roman pressed a finger to the small scar. Victor jumped at the opportunity. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Roman had him bring his mark back into the room. He had that plush chair in the middle of the club. There was a tarp on the stage. Victor knew because Roman made him ‘help’ him set it up. Victor was happy to help. He loved it when Roman watched him free someone. Honestly, he loved it when Roman watched him do anything. Roman liked to watch him do anything he was competent at. And some other, more personal things. Victor loved having Roman’s undivided attention. He caught a drifter. Found a man trying to catch a lift over to Bludhaven and picked him up. He brought him to the club. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Where are we going?” asked the man. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have to make a stop. I just recently got off work- this is a company car. I can give you a ride to Bludhaven from here, I just have to put the car in the back. We can take mine. Gotham’s dangerous at night. Lotta crazy people around here,” said Victor. The man got out of the car, looked at Victor, and the parking lot, and ran. Victor was faster. He knew the moment the man’s shoe slipped and he stumbled. He was fairly certain of it before then. He raced up, used to running on the concrete. He stomped on the back of the man’s head. Victor pulled the man up, dragging him in the building, pushing him up so he would look like he was walking if someone went by. The alley behind the club was never busy. It was quiet. Terribly dark at night. A bad place to find yourself with a serial killer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Victor knew it would be a while before the man woke up. He was younger. 20s at oldest. He and Roman had been that young once. That was around the time of the Bertinelli massacre. He hadn’t thought about that little thing in years. He hardly had any tallies back then. Didn’t mark the massacre. He didn’t know how many he’d killed personally. He definitely had at least a dozen unmarked. He had started working for Roman personally shortly after that. He had been hired as a bodyguard of some sort. Couldn’t much remember. He didn’t get to kill many people at that point. Anyone who pissed Roman off slightly too much. Roman was a handsome little man. But he wasn’t particularly more interested in Roman than any other handsome man. He didn’t know then- but Roman was about to hit a growth spurt and end up taller than him. Victor expected a little more growth but never got taller. He missed Roman being slightly shorter than him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What had actually ended up interesting Victor in Roman was the sadistic, wild side of him. His ambition. His violent tendencies. Roman thought of interesting ways to kill people. Then came the bit with the faces. One man had just kept lying to him, making up stories and loved ones, trying desperately to live. Roman got pissed at that. Demanded Victor take off his ‘mask’. Victor was confused, till Roman ran a finger all the way around his face. Then said flatly ‘Off’. Victor had an intense lust for Roman after that. Definitely not love, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>damn </span>
  </em>
  <span>was it something. He quickly figured out how to get close to Roman, with the high hopes of wriggling his way into Roman’s pants. Roman liked it when he called him Boss. Within a month ‘Boss’ came to his mind before ‘Roman’. He liked it when Victor committed violent crimes. He was the most violent he could be when Roman was around. Roman liked how quiet Victor was. Liked that he listened. Victor never talked much to begin with, but took to interjecting random “I know” or “You’re right!”s into conversations with Roman. He was almost embarrassingly whipped for Roman before he ever even got in his pants. He was in and out of Roman’s bed for about a month before he woke up to Roman grasping his throat firmly in one hand, only half-way awake. Roman told him if he left him then he’d choke him to death. Roman was much more interesting after that. He talked in his sleep- threats and violent thoughts and the occasional heart-felt confession. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Victor?” he said softly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hm?” Victor was almost certain that he was half asleep. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you leave me, I’ll kill you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know.” Victor paused. “Who left you before?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Parents… sort of…. You give me attention.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I need it,” Roman muttered. Victor put a hand on his back, and felt his heart beating. Fast for someone who was asleep- but Roman always had a very quick heartbeat. Roman was still sleeping. “I want… I want attention from you.. I need it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How come?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Make me feel like I matter…” Roman was partially on his face. “You’re the only person who’s… You… You’re the only person who likes me the way I am… I… I feel like I can finally..” Roman was slipping back into a deeper sleep. He ran a finger around his face. “Off.” It was cute, but didn’t cause Victor to feel anything romantic for Roman. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Victor felt for a long time, nothing in his life mattered. Not since his parent’s death. Not since he lost everything to gambling. Not since a homeless man attacked him for not giving him the money he didn’t have </span>
  <em>
    <span>while </span>
  </em>
  <span>he was trying to commit suicide. No one had cared since then either. Roman liked him, but Roman had said similar things to prostitutes when Victor listened in on them late at night. Maybe he had a little crush on Roman at that point. He at least wanted to be his only lover at the time. Which was part of why he killed the prostitutes Roman was with. They were very rare and had to pass all manners of tests from Roman, but Victor still decided to kill them. Roman got frustrated, and complained to Victor, which made Victor happy. He definitely had a little crush on Roman at that point. But the thing that got him was a snowy day in Gotham. He and Roman had taken their time with that one. Roman had him slice the men open, slowly, in the fresh snow. Roman directed him in a very particular way, making an art piece out of those men. Victor was excited about this- it was new, it made him still feel something. He was Roman’s tool, and he could liberate those still trapped on Earth. That was enough for him for the time being. He didn’t even notice that his hands had started to turn blue. But as they waited for the car- professional janitor being called in, Roman noticed. He scoffed, and sighed, and started to nag. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Victor! Do you have gloves?” Roman demanded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh.. No? Not with me-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re going to get frostbite, </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck </span>
  </em>
  <span>sake Victor, this is ridiculous. You are a grown fucking man,” Roman started to peel his own gloves off. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m alright-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Put these on,” Roman ordered, flicking them to him, then putting his own hands under his arms. Victor did as he was told. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks Boss.” Victor paused. “I’m glad that you like my work enough to give me uh.. Special privileges,” Victor said, wriggling his fingers in the gloves. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Pl</span>
  <em>
    <span>ease </span>
  </em>
  <span>Victor,” Roman said, borderline disgust in his tone as he said it. “I can buy a guy who’ll do this as easy as I can buy another pair of gloves.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So…” Victor paused. The car was almost there. “Why do I get this?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well I can’t just </span>
  <em>
    <span>buy </span>
  </em>
  <span>another Victor Zsasz,” Roman said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. They got in the back of the car. Roman sat next to Victor in the back. He didn’t ask for the gloves back, but when he got them back he didn’t get rid of them. He kept them. And he kept a pair of extra gloves in his pocket that whole winter. And every winter after. He hadn’t felt like he could be seen, or cared for, or that he mattered since that day on the bridge. But Roman saw him. And cared. He mattered to Roman. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had been loyal before- but </span>
  <em>
    <span>holy shit. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The moment he found himself wanting </span>
  <em>
    <span>more </span>
  </em>
  <span>with Roman, he became the absolute </span>
  <em>
    <span>perfect </span>
  </em>
  <span>employee. And he learned how to give the best shoulder rubs. Just so he could have his hands on Roman as much as possible. Then came a rainy day and ruined gloves. Roman had slapped a man who didn’t have a face for saying the wrong thing. It started to rain, and it got cold fast. Victor wrapped his hands around Roman’s hands, and rubbed them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you up to?” Roman asked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Making sure your hands stay warm.” Roman chuckled, in a genuine way that made Victor smile like an idiot. Roman pulled Victor’s hands up to his face and kissed them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Victor was so giddy thinking about Roman that he forgot what he was actually doing for a minute. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please- </span>
  <em>
    <span>please </span>
  </em>
  <span>man- please let me go-” the drifter begged. Victor looked down at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.. Right.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right? What the fuck-” Victor slapped a hand over his mouth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m back,” Victor called. He pulled the man onto the tarp, which had been surrounded with his best knives. He had bought one of them. The others Roman bought for him- either because Victor looked at them for more than ten seconds or because Roman saw them and thought of Victor. Sometimes it was because the colors on the  handle was just like those “ugly fuckin’ shirts” Victor liked and Roman kept buying for him. They were high quality knives. Beautiful knives. He loved Roman. Victor presented the knife, and Roman smiled at him from his plush chair. Victor peeled the man’s face off, starting at the chin, going slow, making a show of it. He never broke eye contact with Roman, and he still cut the face off perfectly. He knew he did from the way Roman shivered slightly as the man’s face popped off. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh Mr. Zsasz,” Roman cooed. The man wasn’t dead yet- but he was getting there, and he was definitely in shock. He wouldn’t react. Victor kicked his shoes off and walked to Roman’s side. Roman pulled him into his lap, and Victor leaned back, letting Roman hold him on the big plush chair. Roman kissed him and took the knife in one quick move. “Show me that scar,” Roman’s voice was low and a bit grumbly. Demanding. Victor could have teased him, removed his shirt slowly, or ask which one- but instead he unbuttoned some of his shirt buttons and then just pulled the whole thing over his head, throwing it to the ground. Roman pulled him more firmly into his lap. He had enjoyed being taller than Roman- but this was pretty great too. He liked it when Roman held him.  Roman didn’t look immediately to Victor’s shoulder, but instead one of the scars across his chest. Roman kissed one of his scars, moving up his chest gradually. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you up to?” Victor asked, rubbing his whiskers across Roman’s shoulder as Roman reached his neck. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Trying to find that scar,” Roman said. “Is it this it?” Roman kissed one of his neck scars and he could swear he felt a little bit of tongue. But that was also very uncharacteristic of Roman. He didn’t like to lick much. The bite that followed was very Roman, however. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you gonna tally me or not?” Victor asked. He enjoyed the attention, but there was a particular kind of itch that tallying only could scratch. Roman didn’t appreciate that, and Victor knew that he wouldn’t. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright, alright,” Roman pulled back, and swiveled Victor around till he and Roman were face to face. Victor could feel goosebumps rise up his skin as Roman’s hands searched for the scar, finding it quickly. Roman spent a moment, figuring out the direction that he wanted to cut. Roman cleaned the blade a few times over with rubbing alcohol till he deemed it was clean enough. Then he pressed the knife to Victor’s chest, cutting across the skin. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Deeper,” Victor said. Roman locked eyes with him, grinning. He pressed the knife harder, and blood started to spill. He clenched Roman’s shoulder. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is this a kink?” Roman asked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Victor asked. Roman pulled the blade back, checked the wound, and cleaned it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“All gone,” Roman was proud. “With a newer, and much better scar in its place.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What was that about a kink?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You held on to me there, told me deeper,” Roman was smirking. “It was interesting.” Victor stumbled over his words for a moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just- I really like it when you.. I like your.. I get a weird… I get a satisfaction from my tallies and I.. I.. Oh fuck.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hm?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tallying isn’t a kink- I just… I get a very different kind of satisfaction from uh.. From being… From having your attention. Both together…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t scar very easily,” Roman muttered. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was thinking about to what extent we could play with knives without you getting unnecessary scars,” Roman said. “I like your tallying system… It’s… interesting.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve been locked up for too long, Roman,” Victor said. “I just want to play with you at all.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Roman called in someone else to clean up the mess, only cleaning the knives up himself, then carrying Victor up half the stairs, before deciding it was too much work and making Victor walk on his own. Victor didn’t mind. They ran up together and Roman pulled him in to bed. Victor had hardly spent a full two hours dressed. That was fine. Roman was worth it. Roman and Victor rapidly undressed and crawled into bed. Kisses, and cuddles, and then Roman’s wandering hands found scars lower on his body. The sex was great, but Victor remembered the following small kisses and the way Roman just held him close the whole night. Victor struggled a little to fall asleep with Roman breathing on him like that. Eventually he curled his chin into Roman’s chest, and found comfort. He listened to Roman’s heart beating. He worried more about that more recently. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Roman had woken up first. He hadn’t moved an inch. Victor knew, because any movement would wake him up. Roman was looking at him, smiling. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have a question,” Victor said softly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mm.. Alright.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What happened to Birdy? And bob cut?” asked Victor.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Chased them out of town. Kept sending people after them,” Roman said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you think that’ll keep you safe?” Victor asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No… But I think the increased security… That will… And you’re here…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I failed you the first time though…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You stabbed the bitch between gunshots- that’s impressive Victor,” Roman said. “Besides, I lived.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry you couldn’t keep Birdy around… ‘Cause of Circe…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well… I’m upset… I want to kill her for leaving.. And I will… But I’m glad to have you here… Because you actually want to be with me. You don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want </span>
  </em>
  <span>to leave me… Fuck those fucking fake ass bitches!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah! Fuck ‘em!” Victor added, gleeful at the prospect of having Roman all to him self. No more Birdy. No more Circe. Just him and Roman. Forever. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll be re-opening the club tomorrow,” Roman said. “Let’s sleep a little more…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That sounds good to me,” Victor said. Victor didn’t sleep, he just laid there on Roman’s chest. He heard a noise- a loud one, downstairs. Roman sat up, and Victor moved quickly in front of him, arm in front of Roman. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll check on it,” Victor said. He got up, got close enough to dressed, and grabbed two knives. He held one in his hand and put the other in his pocket. He walked down the stairs, crouched low, ready to sprint and attack. Then he saw the cleaner, who had knocked over a chair. “Be quiet, alright?” Victor said, grinning, and flipping the blade from one hand to another. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.. Okay-” The cleaner said softly. Victor went back up stairs, moving slowly. Once he was out of view and earshot, he sighed and dramatically. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was the damn cleaner,” Victor said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ridiculous!” Roman sighed. “Startling me- making you go downstairs instead of being </span>
  <em>
    <span>here </span>
  </em>
  <span>where you belong,” Roman dramatically gestured to the bed next to him. Victor kicked his shoes off and flopped on the bed next to Roman. “Victor!” snapped Roman. “Right on my-” Victor moved rapidly off his arm. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry Boss.” Roman wrapped the arm he just got off of around him, and pulled him close. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’d better be.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Both of them got some attention whenever they would go through the club. Roman’s dramatic reveal of their relationship only increased the prevalence of the ‘Spot Zsasz’ game. It made sense. A man with bleach blond hair covered from head to toe in tally marks in a club where the lover of the owner, who was one such man, was ‘rumored’ to be a serial killer was not exactly inconspicuous. Victor didn’t much care about their attention, and tried not to drag it away from Roman too much. He still loved the attention, and Victor had a job to do. Victor could handle a little jealousy. Roman needed the attention. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then he saw some kid hanging off him. A 20-something college guy. Reminded Victor of better days and his newest scar. He was the first guy that week, so Victor wasn’t quite in the killing him mood. Victor eventually decided enough was enough when Roman stepped back a little and the drunken idiot moved closer. Victor got up between them and shoved the man back, and he looked up angrily, saw Victor, processed what he saw, and then darted off to the other side of the club. He grinned and turned to Roman. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you Mr. Zsasz,” Roman said, before turning back to the club. “Turn the music up!” he yelled. People stared for a moment, but most of them knew better than to keep doing it. They turned away and Victor returned to his place by Roman’s side. Or a few paces behind him. Roman drank with random people and dragged Victor around and kept the party going till the next day. The club closed officially around 2, but everyone was out by 2:30, and cleaning was over by 3. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What some more drinks?” Victor asked. Roman was sort of dancing, with no music playing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah, come here,” Roman said, wrapping his arms around Victor. Victor came over to Roman, holding a drink he had for himself. Roman kept humming to himself, tilting them both back and forth. It wasn’t elegant, but it was warm. Victor drank a little occasionally, just tilting back and forth with Roman.Then he stepped on Roman’s foot.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry Boss-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Scoot your feet back a little,” Roman said softly, then followed with, “If you step on my feet again you’res sleeping on the couch.” Victor did what he was told, and payed a bit more attention to where Roman’s feet were. They stayed close, just dancing slowly all that night. And every night after. </span>
</p>
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